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'It's been a while' was the message received earlier today from both Rapha Cycling and Ollie. Rapha Cycling reminded me I need to intensify my focus. The same way it's easy to get lazy about the 'easier' (but duller?) side of cycling (eg stretching, resting, bike degreasing) when your leg power is shooting through the roof, it's easy to get lazy in the GBM battle when things are going well. This week's milestone is perhaps the biggest so far: I haven't felt a headache in a few days. To be clear: I've been great over the past few months, but there's always been that lingering phantom of infrequent but daily pains to remind me I'm in the middle of a war of attrition here. That phantom may be gone, at least for now. The joy: a sense of 'normality'. The risk: missing a veggie juice here, adding a bit of butter there, forgetting to tick the boxes in the supplement tracker; effectively laying down arms. Yes, helping poor countries boost the quality of their teacher training through my dissertation is important. But as I was reminded deep into an agonising turbo trainer session last week, even as painful and scary as life gets for all of us, here's some BREAKING NEWS: So yeah, suck it up and finish this climb.
Ollie got me thinking I'd bungled my priorities. For starters, an aspiring blogger does not just disappear as he pleases. More importantly, it brought back words I read in another brain cancer blog earlier today: Let me close this entry with a reminder to really enjoy the time you have with family and friends. When you consider measuring your life in terms of weeks or months, it causes you to reflect on what really matters most. Very few cancer patients I have spoken with have indicated that family, friends and their religion/closely held beliefs were not near or at the top of their list of things that mattered most to them. Upon reflection, if you reach the same conclusion, then FIND A WAY to make time for those things and eliminate or minimize those other less significant items. I promise you will never regret it! Check out Carl Horton's blog (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/carlhorton/mystory). I don't know Carl very well, but he's a man who's finishing his own climbs (including a GBM variant that spreads through the entire brain like a cobweb) with ferocious power and generosity--he gave me great advice soon after my diagnosis. Yeah, sometimes life has a funny way of getting between us and those people and beliefs closest to our hearts. So here I am 'pablogging', as Ollie calls it, FINDING A WAY to spend a little time together with you and those beliefs. Earlier I likened this journey to a tough treadmill workout. I take those words back. A treadmill is too individual. This journey is more like a marathonic (you can't completely beat the runner out of me!) bike race in which your team makes all the difference. Lucky me, then, for having been blessed with such an incredible one. To quote Carl again: Despite being known for having notoriously bad luck, I absolutely, positively won the lottery when good friends and family were handed out. My plan next weekend is to go on a bike ride with good friends and make a toast. As regards the ride: thanks to Nina, Azim and Francesco (my own lottery winnings) for the company; to my friends at Rapha for the new gear; and to you reading this for that little extra push that will, God willing, thrust my bike on its way from London to Paris. As regards the toast: after his diagnosis, the doctors gave Carl 13 months to live. In a few days he, God willing, celebrates this anniversary. Carl--happy '13-month alive date', and here's to many more! Now let's go suck it up and finish this climb!! Comments are closed.
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